Making friends with the suck | Ep.2 Content Magic with Lindsay Smith

In today's episode, we are chatting about welcoming in those feelings of discomfort and growth. Essentially, embracing being shitty at something. And why this is so integral to entrepreneurship. The fear of failure is real. But when you re-frame what failure even means, it's not so scary anymore.

00:00 Overcome fear of imperfection in entrepreneurship.
04:49 Finding comfort amidst discomfort, embracing entrepreneurship realities.

08:45 Embracing uniqueness and challenging societal norms is key.

10:53 Reframe discomfort and failure, give words new meanings.

Me [00:00:03]:
If you have an online business, you're creating content.

Speaker B [00:00:06]:
And the way you create content is more important than ever. It's really noisy out there and learning.

Me [00:00:12]:
To stand out is the only way. Hey, I'm Lindsay.

Speaker B [00:00:15]:
And I'm the host of the Content Magic Podcast. All about being an entrepreneur and creating kick ass content to market yourself and your business. I have have a not so secret superpower for copywriting marketing and content and I've helped hundreds of folks just like you show up with a ton of confidence in the online space. I've been doing this content thing for 20 years and I believe the real magic is a combo of intuition, creativity, and strategy. You can create content for your business without losing your mind, I promise. So tune in every week for tangible content tips, inspiring guests, and some real spicy opinions. Probably mine. Ready to dive in?

Me [00:00:57]:
Let's go. Okay, so welcome to episode number two. And today we're going to be chatting about how to make friends with sucking at something. And the reason I bring this up is because this very podcast is my second attempt at podcasting. The first attempt was, well, it didn't work out. And I think what happened was that I was putting a shit ton of pressure on making it perfect. And here's the thing, I'm really good at content. I'm really good at ideas, I'm really good at writing emails, I'm really good at writing web copy, I'm really good at posting shit on Instagram, I'm really good at messaging, I'm really good at marketing, I'm really good at all those things.

Me [00:01:53]:
I've been doing that for a really long time. I have not been podcasting for a very long time. So as soon as I kind of got around this idea of, okay, Lindsay, it'll probably suck, it doesn't matter. Your first episode will probably suck, the first couple episodes will probably suck. And it doesn't matter what's the worst thing that's going to happen. Nobody's going to die. It's not a life or death situation. So this is the thing, you kind of just have to make friends with that.

Me [00:02:27]:
And I think this applies to for sure, it applies to your content. It also applies to entrepreneurship as a whole. If you're going live in a group or live on Instagram or, I don't know, whatever, or you have an email list and you keep writing emails to them and then not sending them, it doesn't really matter one because, well, nobody is really watching you as closely as you think because they are too worried or too busy rather thinking about themselves. So they're just not watching that closely. So when you think about it, what are you actually afraid of if you're going to suck at something and what are you actually afraid of if it's not going to be perfect? Does it come down to some sort of ego trip? Does it come down to worrying about what other people will think of you if it's not perfect? I don't know. There's no right or wrong answer. It's just like an examination. You kind of have to think about it.

Me [00:03:35]:
And if you've ever given birth, it's like a lot like going into labor, right? And you kind of have to make friends with that discomfort, otherwise it becomes suffering. And I actually a yoga teacher. I have a lot of secrets, guys. So I was a yoga teacher for many years and when I did my yoga teacher training, we had to sit on a walnut for like an hour under one butt cheek and sort of the I think it was a meditation teacher that was teaching us something or other. Anyways, sort of what he taught us was this equation of pain plus resistance equals suffering. So it's the same for labor, right? Like the more you resist it, the more suffering you feel. And if you've never had a baby, well, then I don't know, if you've seen people I don't know in movies have babies, then labor is not comfortable. But sometimes it's sort of a mind over matter thing.

Me [00:04:49]:
So the same is true. Okay, now I'm drawing parallels between labor and content. I'm full of stories. So it's the same sort of thing, right? Like just making friends with that discomfort or making friends with that, like it's not going to be great and just doing it anyway when it comes to entrepreneurship, right? Is that what it is? Like, if you suck at something, if you suck at your Instagram Live, you suck at your first podcast episode, you suck at, I don't know, that piece of content you were trying to put out. Maybe nobody opens your emails, whatever. Is that a failure? What's the actual meaning of failure when it comes to entrepreneurship, right? Where's the line? Because for whatever reason and I fell victim to this too, for the longest time, even in my early thirty s I was like, oh my God, I just want to be a freelance writer and live in an apartment that's painted earth tones. Well, I did that in my early thirty s and I very quickly learned that it was not as sexy as I thought and none of entrepreneurship really is that sexy. I don't know why we keep believing that it is.

Me [00:06:21]:
And I think there's a sense of irresponsible marketing when we're watching other people and what they're doing and how it looks so glamorous and how much money they're making and how many clients they have and the trips they're taking and whatever. That's not the real behind the scenes, so just be mindful of that. And when we talk about the meaning of failure, is it even failure or is it just a lesson? So what if my very first master class I ever did on Zoom, there was like, I don't know, 50 people registered or something and for whatever reason, I know how to use zoom. I'm not a total dumb dumb. For whatever reason, I just got in the zone and started talking or presenting or whatever. And you can have this feature on Zoom where people are in the waiting room and you have to let them in. And then the notification kept popping up and I just kept ignoring it. Like, oh, well, those people are in the waiting room.

Me [00:07:24]:
No biggie. They'll just come in. No, they didn't. I left like twelve people in the waiting room. Is that a failure or is that just a lesson? Right? So obviously I did that like three, four years ago. I never did it again. So is that a failure or is it a lesson? And I think as soon as you make friends with this idea of failure or discomfort or sucking at something, whatever it is, then everything becomes easier, because a lot of it is. I don't even think the word failure exists when you start a business, because I don't know what it means.

Me [00:08:04]:
I think the failure is like, when you have to close your doors and well, maybe that's not even a failure. If you shut everything off and you're like, I'm not doing this anymore, by maybe that's not even a failure, maybe that just means you're moving on to something else. Some people say there's no you can't fail at it unless you quit. But even that, maybe it's not even called quitting. Maybe it's just called moving on to something else. So this sense of failure, if you really think about it, what is the definition of it? I'm not even sure it exists. So if you think about the worst case scenario let's take this podcast, for example. The worst case scenario, nobody listens to it.

Me [00:08:45]:
Okay, so what? Is that a failure? Or does that just mean I haven't figured it out yet? So that's, you know, like, I just don't think that there's like I just don't think there there is any failures. And this weird sort of expectation of perfection. And again, what is perfection, right? Or like the way we define ourselves. Like, oh, we're not a normal family, or whatever. What does even normal mean? What does that even mean? Compared to what? What's normal? As a kid, I was always called weird. And even when I met my husband, he was like, don't take this the wrong way, but you're kind of weird, right? And that was like twelve years ago. So yes, I've known I've always been outside of the whatever, the regular path. And I think that's what makes us such good entrepreneurs.

Me [00:09:50]:
If anybody's ever told you that, or if you've ever sort of felt outside of the regular path, right, or de la whatever in French, you say it outside of, like, an outsider, I guess. So I think that's what makes us so special, and I think that's what gives us this entrepreneurial brain, because we're kind of weirdos. And that means that we're always thinking of different ways to do things rather than just status quo. So whatever it is that you're going out there to do that feels brand new, maybe you're writing a book or maybe you're launching something new. A new product, a new service, a new whatever. Maybe you're starting a new job. Whatever it is, just know that failure is sort of a subjective word. There's not really any such thing as failure.

Me [00:10:53]:
And just make friends with the discomfort, make friends with the idea that it's not going to be great. And as soon as you sort of reframe that belief, reframe both those beliefs that it's going to be shitty and I'm going to be a failure, just retell those stories and give those words new meanings. Marie forlio does this. She has this idea that you call things something else, right? And I think the example that she uses is talking, know, being nervous or being nervous to go on stage, for example, right? My daughter calls this nerve sided because she told me once she's nine and she told me once that she's in drama. And so the first class she told me she's like, I'm not sure if I'm nervous or excited, but both those feelings sort of feel the same, which is, I think, pretty smart because both those things manifest the same way in your body, right? Like your hands get sweaty, your heart starts beating, know, maybe you feel like you want to throw up a little bit. So Marie forlio talks about this, right? And she talks about just like calling it something else. So instead of saying like, oh, I'm so nervous to go on stage, just make up another word, like farfalu, I feel so farfaloo about going on stage. And then you're just reframing that and not giving that word so much meaning.

Me [00:12:23]:
So maybe that's what it's about. And whatever you're going out there to do, just remember that it's okay if you suck at it and nobody's going to know.

Speaker B [00:12:34]:
Thank you so much for listening.

Me [00:12:36]:
If you loved what you heard, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, or.

Speaker B [00:12:40]:
Share this episode on social media. And don't forget to tag me on Instagram at Lindsay Smith Creative. And if you do all three, I'll be your best friend forever and invite you to all my birthday parties. That's it for today and I'll see you next time.

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