How to create a sales page that converts. Part 2 of 2 | Ep. 38 Content Magic with Lindsay Smith

I'm super excited about this episode! I'm live editing four sales pages submitted to me by colleagues!

As a copywriter, these are some of the things I look out for on a sales page:

1. Flow of information. Sometimes it's not about rewriting your entire sales page but just about moving some sections around. You want to make sure your reader is following along and the information being absorbed is not disjointed.

2. Copy! In most cases, there is simply too much information. As business owners, we know a TON about what we do and sometimes we just want to share it all. My job is to make sure you're being as concise as possible and using words that mean something to your ideal client and aren't vague or jargon-y.

3. Messaging and clarity: Usually this applies to clearly identifying your ideal client's actual problem and how and why you are the solution.

Thank you to these friends for submitting their sales pages!

Britt
Instagram: @Brittdoessocial
Sales page: Content & Community 

Jyll
Instagram: @the_google_pro
Sales page: Google Ads Coaching

Julie
Instagram: @julie.m.costa
Sales page: Anchored NLP Certification

Nicole
Instagram: @hello_nicolelehman
Sales page: The Expert Educator

FREE: The Sales Page Blueprint

Lindsay [00:00:00]:
So I've got four sales pages to review, and I'm going to do that today on the podcast. If you have an online business, you're creating content. And the way you create content is more important than ever. It's really noisy out there, and learning to stand out is the only way. Hey, I'm Lindsay and I'm the host of the Content Magic podcast, all about being an entrepreneur and creating kick ass content to market yourself and your business. I have a not so secret superpower for copywriting, marketing and content, and I've helped hundreds of folks just like you show up with a ton of confidence in the online space. I've been doing this content thing for 20 years, and I believe the real magic is a combo of intuition, creativity, and strategy. You can create content for your business without losing your mind, I promise.

Lindsay [00:00:52]:
So tune in every week for tangible content, tips, inspiring guests, and some real spicy opinions. Probably mine. Ready to dive in? Let's go. Hi, friends, and welcome back to the podcast. So today I'm talking about sales pages again. So last week I talked about sales pages from sort of a broader perspective and what I look at as a copywriter when I'm writing them or editing them, or either for myself or for clients. And today, some lovely colleagues and friends and strangers have submitted their own sales page for review. So I've got four sales pages to review, and I'm going to do that today on the podcast.

Lindsay [00:01:38]:
So you can go back and listen to last week's episode first, and then this episode will probably make a bit more sense. So, a couple of things. What I'm looking at today is one flow of information. So sometimes when I'm editing sales pages, people don't really need to rewrite the whole thing. Sometimes you just need to sort of switch up some of the sections. Some of the things I'm looking at are things like mission statements, like presenting the problem and the solution. I'm also looking at features versus benefits, making sure that the benefits are first and the features are later. And of course, I'm looking at copy.

Lindsay [00:02:25]:
So when I'm looking at copy, I'm looking at clear and concise. So sometimes, you know, my clients are very wordy and they want to say a lot of things, and sometimes it's just too much information, especially if my clients are using like a template, which, you know, sometimes when you're, you have a template, you're just like, oh, well, there's a section here. I'm going to fill it up. Oh, there's another section here. I'm going to fill it up. And so what happens is we end up with way too much copy. And I, and I have done this, too. I have done this, too on my own sales pages where I'm like, oh, there's a section here.

Lindsay [00:03:01]:
I'm just going to put something in it. And then sometimes you just have to go back and look at it with fresh eyes or you need someone else to look at it and be like, you repeat, this is repetitive, or it's just excessive. So I'm looking at, like, repetition and excess. So we're going to get started with my friend Britt's sales page. So she is a social media manager and she has a program called Content and Community. So I'm going to include all of her information, her Instagram, and this program in the show notes. So this program is kind of like a hybrid program. So you get, there's like some pre recorded lessons and then you also get time with her.

Lindsay [00:03:47]:
So it's, and it's, and it's geared towards Instagram users. So the first thing we see when we land on this page is content and community. Your secret to go from frustrated to consistent on the gram. And then there's kind of a subhead that says, finally, create consistent content and connect with your ideal audience without having to spend hours on Instagram. And then she has sort of, like, then she kind of like, presents, presents the problem. And in quotations it says, I'm too busy to post and talk to people on Instagram. And she says, I hear you. So again, she's using kind of like the empathy.

Lindsay [00:04:25]:
Like, I totally get it. I've been where you are kind of thing and something that Brit does really well. One, Britt, you're a really great writer. Two, she also uses analogies, and I personally love analogies because I use them a lot when I'm teaching and training because to me, it's just like an easier way to pick up a lesson, kind of. And she also says, between client work, scrambling to make dinner and switch to laundry out, your social media is looking more like the wilted house plant you keep forgetting to water. So I feel like, you know, that really gives us a visual. When you think about a wilted house plant that you forget to water and you compare that to, like, your Instagram presence, you're like, oh, it's kind of, kind of like lackluster. Right? And she also does, she also has a great analogy in her bio.

Lindsay [00:05:20]:
Also. Yes. Also include a bio on your sales page that is more, you can just copy and paste it from whatever regular bio you have on your website. However, I would encourage you to tailor it to whatever that specific program or offer is. You know, she talks about how she got her start in the pro sports space, and then she says, your social media shouldn't feel like climbing four flights of stairs with six grocery bags. And also, again, that gives us such a great visual. Right? Because, like, if your social media feels like that, going upstairs with grocery bags, it's just like, ugh. Like, it's tired.

Lindsay [00:06:03]:
Like, you're tired. It just feels heavy, like you're schlepping and, like, you open up your instagram, and you're just like, right. So I love that. So, that stuff. Awesome. Really great. And she also has, if you scroll down, she has, like, this is a perfect fit for you if. And it might not be a good fit for you if section, which sometimes I nothing for you section.

Lindsay [00:06:33]:
A well crafted not for you section works really well. And I'm not saying do like, a not for you section if, you know, you don't want to save time and money. Not like that. Like a real one, you know? And she says it might not be good for you if you are looking for done for you. Social media support, because this is kind of like a hybrid program. So awesome job on that, Brit. Love it, love it, love it. And so, oh, and another thing you did really well is you gave it, like, a synopsis of the modules.

Lindsay [00:07:06]:
Like, you gave a little summary of what. Exactly. Here's what you'll learn in the video modules. And she gives, like, a summary of each one. It looks like there's three. Anyways, great stuff. So when I'm looking at it from, like, a copywriter's perspective, like, the first thing we see is your secret, to go from frustrated to consistent on the ground. And then I would wager, your sub head, finally create consistent content and reconnect with your ideal audience without having to spend hours on Instagram.

Lindsay [00:07:38]:
I would wager that sub head is far stronger than your secret to go from frustrated to consistent. I feel that it's stronger. Finally, create consistent content and connect with your ideal audience without having to spend. So you're touching on three things, consistency, which I think I would guess is probably the number one issue with your clients connecting with the right people. Probably number two. And the time. So you're touching on three pain points there. And so also, I have a question, because, like, here we're talking about frustrated.

Lindsay [00:08:17]:
We're talking about consistency. We're talking about audio audience. We're spending, talking about time. And then, you know, when you, in your problem solution section, you say, I'm too busy. And then, and then we talk about posting. Feeling overwhelming. You talk a lot. You use the word overwhelm quite a lot.

Lindsay [00:08:38]:
You also talk about imposter syndrome. And then we also spent, we talk more about not spending hours and stuff. And then farther down. Right. And then further down, you say, this is perfect for you if you like posting on social media, but you wish you knew what you were doing. So there's a bit of a disconnect because I want to know what the real problem is. And so, and this is my question to you. Did you do any market research or have you done any market research when you wrote this page or when you created this program? And maybe I, like, I don't think this is the first time you're launching it, is it? Maybe it is.

Lindsay [00:09:18]:
I'm not sure. So, because I'm curious, because I feel like you touch on a lot of different things that I'm sure people on Instagram are feeling the too busy, the overwhelm, the imposter syndrome, and then, like, frustration. So I'm curious if, like, I want to know, like, I want a clearer problem identified. So. Right. And then, and then I also have a question. So in your frequently asked questions, you have, the first thing in your frequently asked question is, why is this priced at 547? So, and this is my question to you. And again, this might come back to market research.

Lindsay [00:10:06]:
I'm wondering if price was like a real pushback for the ideal client for this program. The reason I ask is because if it was a real pushback, then absolutely. Let's put it in your frequently asked questions. However, if it's not, this kind of reads like you're justifying the price, which I don't want you to do because I want you to be like, yeah, that's the price. And you get a ton of value in it. Right. And I wonder if you would, I don't know, this is just an idea. Maybe compare the 547 to what it would cost for you to do their social media for them.

Lindsay [00:10:49]:
I've done that in the past. How much time is needed? Yeah, it tells you right here. Amazing refunds. No, I have another question. Where should I. So that's my question. Also, the faqs in an ideal world would be based on actual faqs, like actual questions you're getting about this program. And you definitely did features before benefits.

Lindsay [00:11:20]:
I mean, benefits before features. Like, you're really speaking to your ideal client. And then you don't get into exactly what the features are into the bottom, like the videos. Slack community, monthly office hours. Awesome. Love that. So well done. So, my questions to you, are you, what are the real.

Lindsay [00:11:42]:
What are the actual problem that your ideal client is having? And sometimes what I have, what I find is helpful is just talking to that one person. Like, maybe, like, if you have a favorite client or a really great client, talk to that one person, because that's really helped me. Okay. Thank you, Britt, for submitting that. Okay, so next we're going to address Jill's sales page. So Jill is a Google Ads coach, and she has a very super simple sales page. And she says that she made it two years ago and it's converted really well. She says she's had hundreds of clients come through the sales page.

Lindsay [00:12:31]:
However, she also feels like she just kind of threw it together and she could probably make it better. So there's a lot of really strong. There's a lot of really awesome parts of this sales page. For one, you have really incredible testimonials. Like, one of the testimonials says, this was the best money I've ever spent in my entire life. What? Like, I feel like everybody wants that testimonial. So incredible. So.

Lindsay [00:12:59]:
And I feel like you chose some really incredible testimonials. Also, you have super clear, frequently asked questions at the bottom. So what Jill is selling is a sort of like a one on one Google Ads coaching session. And it's. And it's very, like, it's very clear. And then in the bottom, like, there's some really great questions, like, what should I prepare for our meeting? And she explains it all. How many coaching sessions do I need? What's included? So, really great questions here. Awesome.

Lindsay [00:13:30]:
Love it. And the other thing is. So, and this is my question for you. And this is usually my question for everybody. So where are people coming from when they're landing on your sales page? Because the reason I ask this is because looking at it, I would think that you are b, two b. And that anybody landing here already knows what Google Ads are and why it's important to spend money on them. So your headline is Google Ads coaching. And then if you want to learn Google Ads at your own pace, using your own account and unique business goals, then you can book a one on one coaching with me.

Lindsay [00:14:11]:
And that just that all of your buttons take. You take people to a calendly link to book a call. And so then you say. Then you have some bullet points of who you work with agency and freelance marketers, business owners and marketing teams. So this is my challenge to you. I wonder what would happen if you added a mission statement. So instead of. Right, like, it's very transparent.

Lindsay [00:14:44]:
Exactly. It's a one on one coaching call. But I wondered if you used, like, even one of your testimonials. Like the first one says. First one says we cut our cost per conversion in half. So even, like, I wonder, even if you just use a mission statement like that, learn how to cut your cost per conversion and have something like that, learn how to. Learn how to use Google Ads at your own pace. Maybe that's it.

Lindsay [00:15:16]:
So I don't know. This is a challenge to you. If you were to write a mission statement to catch people's attention and what they're learning, what would that be? And also, my other question to you is, I'm curious why you did not include a bio. While there's a picture of you, I'm wondering why you didn't include a bio. Because I know you have some very incredible experience. Like, I know you used to work at Google, which I think, to me, makes you an expert in what you do. And then, and again, it might depend on where people are coming from and how they find this page, like, in your funnel. So those are my two challenges to you.

Lindsay [00:15:58]:
A mission statement or some sort of, like, learn how to, or discover something or other, and then a bio. Because it's clear, you know, your testimonials speak very highly of you. A phenomenal marketing consultant communicates highly complex data in a way that's easy to understand. So it looks like you have. Right. And I would use some of this stuff. Like, obviously this is what you're really good at, right? Like, roi for sure. Presenting, like, confusing stuff in a way that's really easy to understand and then also best money ever spent.

Lindsay [00:16:38]:
So I would talk about those things. Okay, thank you, Jill. We're going to include all of Jill's information in the show notes. Thank you for submitting a sales page. Okay. It's me, Lindsey. When you start an online business, everyone tells you you need an email list, but nobody really tells you you what to put in those emails. We know we need a free thing, a couple of nurture sequences and some creative emails to keep your list engaged.

Lindsay [00:17:04]:
Still, how do you write those? This is why I created the email lab. It's a hybrid membership program that'll teach you how to write emails quickly. I'm talking, like, less than 20 minutes, how to know exactly what to write. So no more staring at that blank screen with anxiety and how to make money with your list. Even with a small audience, you can expect some expert training and super digestible takeaways and some madlib style prompts to take all the guesswork out of email marketing. So go check it out at lindsaysmithcreative, CA email and I'll see you in there. Okay, so next we are, my friend Julie submitted her sales page. So she is a hypnotherapist and a trainer.

Lindsay [00:17:54]:
So she has a program called Anchored where she teaches and trains and certifies other people to become hypnotherapists. So there's a lot of info on this sales page. So one, the design is amazing. She uses like a lot of like blues and stuff, which I've find very calming. Well done. And another thing that you did really well is when it comes to like benefits versus feature, you really put all of the benefits first and you don't really get to the features to the, until you get to the bottom. So yes, amazing, because the features are like how many calls, you know, the length of the program, the cost, that kind of stuff. And you, you do that way down at the bottom.

Lindsay [00:18:43]:
So well done. So the first thing it says is anchored coaching certification program. Become board accredited and certified in NLP, EFT, hypnotherapy time, techniques, life coaching and success coaching. Six certifications in one program and then you have a button. So my question to you is, is somebody, if whoever is landing on this sales page, do they know what NLP, EFT and time is? All in caps. So I'm assuming that's an acronym. Do they know what those things are? Because if they don't, then those things need to be explained. Then you have like an, imagine this section, imagine with this, which is where like we're like painting the picture, right? Learning how to easily build a deep level of trust with anyone in a subconscious level, knowing how and when to use various modalities and techniques to support your clients.

Lindsay [00:19:44]:
Okay, so this is the first time, right? And these are like bullet points. And this is the first time we see your clients. So my challenge to you, Julie, is we don't really know what this is. You've got a lot of bullet points of like imagine this. And then we don't really know until we get to the next section where it says, bust through your clients mindset blocks and scale a sustainable, sought after coaching business that delivers results. So we don't really know that you're talking to coaches until we get to this, like third section. So this bust through your clients mindset blocks scales sustainable, sought after coaching business that delivers results. That to me is your mission statement.

Lindsay [00:20:32]:
And I would put that way up at the front rather than become board certified and accredited in like that. To me, becoming board certificate accredited, it goes way down. So that's what I would consider. And then in this third section, do we find out what anchored is board accredited NLP coaching certification program designed for coachers, healers, health and wellness practitioners and service based entrepreneurs. Okay, so now you're telling. Now you're telling us what it is. So I'm curious if that was intentional to sort of put exactly what it is in the third section. Because I would move that section closer to the top.

Lindsay [00:21:20]:
And then you imagine this, I think there's too many bullets. You have 1234-5678 I would sort of whittle those down to the important three or four and I can help you do that. And then why become a certified NLP coach? Okay, awesome. Okay. And so this is a why section. Great. Love it, love it, love it. And then you have introducing anchored coaching certification program.

Lindsay [00:21:56]:
So again, right, like I feel like the introducing. I feel like if we have that mission statement at the front or at the top rather. And then we have introducing, then we have the imagine if section, then it's why become a certified NLP coach? Then we're introducing the program way down here. And then you get into exactly what's inside the program. Like the NLP, neuro linguistic programming practitioner, EFT practitioner, emotional freedom technique. And then you get into sort of the six modalities that you're getting or the six trainings that you're getting inside the program. And then you say how it works. And so this is where we're getting into the features online portal, live trainings, two day live virtual event.

Lindsay [00:22:52]:
And so. And this is the other thing too, right? And then you live training and practicum calls and then you give more information and all of those things. Postgrad support. And then by the completion of your experience inside anchored, you'll be able to. I want this part moved up. Step fully into your power. Have the confidence to effortlessly hold space. I want this part moved up.

Lindsay [00:23:15]:
Like this is. These are the benefits that you get all of these things. And the other thing is, I feel like your features section, you kind of repeat it, right? Like, I don't know. So you have like a bullet section of your, your features. Online learning portal. Three day live virtual immersion integration during the summer months. Da da da da da da and then you have a lot of, and then you have a lot of information on what all those things are. So I wonder if all of those paragraphs on your features are important.

Lindsay [00:23:52]:
That's my question to you. You've got some really incredible testimonials and screenshots. Amazing, amazing, amazing. And then you have your bio at the bottom and I know your bio and I think, think it's really powerful. And then you introduced, like, your support coach. Anyways, awesome job, Julie. It has a ton of information. So I think we just need to condense a couple things and then move things around.

Lindsay [00:24:23]:
So that's my challenge to you, is to move sort of a mission statement up to the top of your sales page and move things around. So thank you, Julie. We're going to share Julie's info in the show notes. Okay, so now our fourth and final one is Nicole. So Nicole is a, she calls herself an educational design specialist and she works with other entrepreneurs on the sort of build building curriculum within their online courses and programs. So she, this is a membership that she says she just launched and it currently has two, it has two curriculums, the educational portion and the leadership portion. And so what I love is that she told me that, like, people were asking her about this, so she created it. Amazing.

Lindsay [00:25:22]:
So, Nicole, firstly, you're an awesome writer. Amazing. Ten out of ten, no notes on your writing. Well done. Well done. You like all of your bullets. And your problem solution, everything is super. I'm going to use the word punchy, which is something people used to say to me when I worked full time as a copywriter.

Lindsay [00:25:48]:
Can you make it punchier? But it's like you're the opposite of two wordies. So you really nail the problem and solution. It's very clear. What if people flocked to you because you were confidently leading out of your strengths and passions? Your business delivered higher results and retained more clients. Like retaining more clients. That's like a qualifying takeaway. You didn't waste any more time structuring your offers with your best guess. Like, no more winging it.

Lindsay [00:26:17]:
You can stand out from your competition. So incredible. Well done. However, I'm going to tell you something. So your program is called the expert educator and then it says an educational design lab. And then, like, you have the name of the program and then your little subhead says, elevate your business by integrating learning theory in everything you do. Become the expert by learning the strategy of teaching and leading effectively. And then develop a business that stands in integrity.

Lindsay [00:26:50]:
Build content that delivers. So when you're saying build content. Like, I don't know. Right? This is something they say in Ontario right off the hop. I don't. I don't really know that this is for course creators until I scroll a little bit farther down. The online space has become a hotbed of really big claims. Also true.

Lindsay [00:27:17]:
Big money claims, big business claims, big growth claims. Yes. Amazing. So I'm sort of like halfway down and it says, maybe you had an idea rolling around in the back of your mind for months, but you don't know how to start or you're scared to put yourself out there. Maybe your group program portal has become a bit of a hot mess. And then you talk about embraced it. And I agree. When you're creating an online program, you are essentially a teacher.

Lindsay [00:27:47]:
Okay? So now we're like almost to the bottom. And it says, I've worked with dozens of entrepreneurs to build courses, memberships and curriculum for their programs in a way that digs into educational and learning strategy. So I didn't know this is for building courses, membership and curriculum. Also the word curriculum, I'm curious if your ideal client knows what that means. I know what it means, but I'm curious if your ideal client knows what that means. And I know. Right, like, and I know you have a ton of education, and that's a word used in the education space, so I'm just curious about that word. And again, right, educational design isn't sexy or flashy.

Lindsay [00:28:31]:
Like the promise of earning ten k in three minutes. But that's amazing. Yes, because, like. And I love that you know exactly what your competitors are saying. Because I think that's right. Like, that's what we're being sold. We're being sold that. Oh, sure.

Lindsay [00:28:49]:
Just create an online course. No problem. And you're going to make ten k in three minutes. Let's absolutely agree. So it's clear that you know exactly what your ideal client is, like, what their issues are long term, inside. And then you have amazing. You have sort of like, the module. You have, like, the module summaries.

Lindsay [00:29:12]:
Love, love, love. Then you say way at the bottom, this is a court. This quarterly membership will equip you to serve your clients with integrity, excellence, and strategy. Claim a seat. Okay, so you have a waiting list. So one, I'm gonna say it again. This is like, expertly written. What I'm going to challenge you with is sort of this mission statement.

Lindsay [00:29:39]:
You say, elevate your business by integrating learning theory in everything you do. So I'm going to challenge you on this word elevate. And I would guess this second sentence, become the expert by learning the strategy of teaching and leading effectively. I would wager a guess that second sentence is far more powerful than that first sentence. Also, the word elevate or level up oftentimes doesn't mean a whole lot. So I'm going to challenge your word, your choice of the word, elevate your business by integrating learning theory in everything you do also. Right. Like, I'm also going to ask you the same question that I asked all of the other women.

Lindsay [00:30:27]:
Is somebody landing on this page? Or, you know, I'm going to assume that anyone landing on this page is probably like a warm lead. And do they know what integrating learning theory means? I'm going to guess they know. Become the expert, right, because all of us want to become the expert. Or is it about turning on your teacher brain? Or is it about learning to teach? Right, because I'm going to guess that's part of. What about this membership is sort of switching from, you know, like me, for example, right. I'm a copywriter, so switching from, you know, and I. And I created, like, I created a course. So I want.

Lindsay [00:31:15]:
I wonder if it's like switching from expert brain to teacher brain, right. Because I believe that when you are teaching somebody something, you kind of have to. Not that I've ever been a teacher, but you have to sort of switch into teaching mode and understand what that means and how to. And I feel like that's where sort of curriculum design comes in. Is that right? I want to know if that's right. Well done, Nicole. Like, that's it. I'm just curious about sort of this front section, and I'm also curious about the font that you chose.

Lindsay [00:31:51]:
It's sort of like script, and in some parts, it's very tricky to read. I'm not a designer. You have a great what if section, and then you have a section that says my heart for you in the expert educator. And I'm curious what that means. People speak highly of you in their DM's, become your biggest fans, send referrals, clients hang on your every word because you've stepped into your full potential as a leader. Love this. You walk in confidence and don't let fear overwhelm or not knowing how hold you back any longer. Yes, these are super.

Lindsay [00:32:24]:
Like, I love all, like, this is very clear takeaways that I feel like your ideal client would be nodding along and being like, oh, my God, yes, yes. Right? You have a great testimonial here. So my challenges to you are a mission statement that's a bit stronger. And then I would say, right, I would move the idea of that you're helping people with courses and programs and memberships. Move it way up to the top. And again, we're going to include all of Nicole's information in the show notes. And that's it for us. Guys, I hope you liked this special episode.

Lindsay [00:33:11]:
I love doing stuff like this. And so if you want to see more episodes like this, please send me a DM or leave me a note. And don't forget to download my free sales page blueprint. It is a template that will walk you through the entire process of writing a sales page. And many of the sections that I talked about today, it includes all of those. So you can print that up, put it on your wall, and every time you write a sales page, you'll know exactly what goes where and why. Okay, my friends, until next time. I'll see you in the next episode.

Lindsay [00:33:46]:
Okay, toodaloo. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. If you loved what you heard, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, or share this episode on social media. And don't forget to tag me on Instagram at lindsaysmithcreative. And if you do all three, I'll be your best friend forever and invite you to all my birthday parties. That's it for today, and I'll see you next time.

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