Hormones, health and business with Vandghie Badenhorst | Ep. 24 Content Magic with Lindsay Smith

In this episode I am joined by my friend Vandghie - a dietician and peak performance coach for women entrepreneurs.

And, she is sharing some incredible helpful information about perimenopause, the true meaning of self-care, burnout and listening to our body's cues.

We absolutely cannot show up for our business and clients and customers if we are unwell or not filling our own cups first. Vandghie shares how we can redefine success and transform our daily productivity.

If you're a woman in business in your late 30s or 40s, you won't want to miss this!

06:19 Pediatric dietitian reflects on perimenopause's impact.
07:15 Frustrated dietitian changes career, then faces health issues.
11:36 Research lags in adapting to medical practice.
16:43 Balancing homeschooling and business, health strategy important.
17:55 Women entrepreneurs uniquely thrive in creative cycles.
23:34 Prevent burnout and chronic diseases through self-care.
27:06 Developing self-awareness and curiosity about body signals.
28:29 Frustrated due to lack of holistic medical care.
33:59 Women and moms rush through everything, feel pressured.
37:08 Adjusting with age, being intentional, and self-awareness.
39:20 Navigating business expectations: chasing ideals vs. reality.


CONNECT WITH VANDGHIE!
Instagram: @vandghie
Website: vandghie.com 
Podcast: The Perimenopause Podcast

Lindsay [00:00:00]:
You know, we have times during the month where we're so much more creative and other times where you don't even know what your own name is.

Vandghie [00:00:08]:
Yeah, that's right. And we don't understand our own physiology, so we work against it all the time.

Lindsay [00:00:14]:
If you have an online business, you're creating content. And the way you create content is more important than ever. It's really noisy out there, and learning to stand out is the only way. Hey, I'm Lindsay, and I'm the host of the content Magic podcast, all about being an entrepreneur and creating kick ass content to market yourself and your business. I have a not so secret superpower for copywriting, marketing and content. And I've helped hundreds of folks just like you show up with a ton of confidence in the online space. I've been doing this content thing for 20 years, and I believe the real magic is a combo of intuition, creativity, and strategy. You can create content for your business without losing your mind, I promise.

Lindsay [00:00:59]:
So, tune in every week for tangible content tips, inspiring guests, and some real spicy opinions. Probably mine. Ready to dive in? Let's go.

Lindsay [00:01:10]:
Hey, gang. Welcome back to content magic. And guess what? I have another guest, so I'm going to let her introduce herself. So can you tell everybody who you are and where you are and what you do and who you help?

Vandghie [00:01:28]:
Hi, Lindsay. Thank you. I'm Vanji. I'm a dietitian, but I'm also an executive and peak performance coach. So I work alongside high performing women, specifically those female entrepreneurs, women who own a business, or executives that work in corporate businesses. And they have reached the point where they probably older than 35, and they've realized that something's not quite right or the same with their body. So they've gotten into that perimenopausal phase where hormones are starting to play up a little bit, and then they just feel exhausted. Brain fog, irritability.

Vandghie [00:02:08]:
They have messy periods. They can notice some changes with their skin. They don't sleep well anymore and just life isn't fun anymore. You know, the things that used to bring us joy don't anymore. We don't know what we getting out of bed for in the morning. So I help those women to understand what is happening with their body, understand how to support it. It doesn't have to be this big, major event. You know, I've had some of my clients where doctors have diagnosed them with cancer with our blood testing, looking at these symptoms, and then we've just gone back and helped and support all of these hormonal changes, and now they're thriving in business again.

Vandghie [00:02:44]:
And then just helping women understand that if we don't have a body that functions optimally, then we simply cannot thrive in our business and our career. So that's what I do, and I absolutely love it.

Lindsay [00:02:57]:
Yes. And I love this. And as I get older, as you know, I am in my mid forties, and I'm noticing that, like, you and I are in a mastermind together. So I know we've chatted about this before, but I'm noticing that, you know, I don't have the energy that I once did. And I'm also noticing a lot of changes, especially in, like, my. The way, like, after you have kids, your body obviously changes, but it's like. It's, like, another change. And I'm noticing that, yes, 100%.

Lindsay [00:03:39]:
I'm, like, forgetting things. And when my body is not working properly. You and I were just talking before we got on. It's breakfast time where you live. It's lunchtime where I live. And I notice if I just, like, forget to eat or whatever, then I'm useless. So if your body is not working, we cannot be successful as entrepreneurs.

Vandghie [00:04:02]:
Yeah, that's right. And so, as we go into perimenopause, Lindsey, these major changes, shifts that happen hormonally. So the production of these sex hormones, which makes us fertile, progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, they used to be produced mainly by the ovaries, and that job is now shifting to the adrenal glands that are already overworked, because they are. That's the two glands that produce stress hormones. Cortisol specific. So if you're a woman in business, you have an overactive adrenal gland.

Lindsay [00:04:37]:
Two of them.

Vandghie [00:04:38]:
And now you are telling them to start producing some other hormones, and it's going, nuh uh. Not doing that. So as we move over 35, our ability to cope with stress and our stress resistance will change because the adrenal glands are now suddenly loaded with all these extra jobs that we are handing over to it. And the ovaries have. They're out of here. They're not doing their job anymore. So we start to notice all these changes with regards to how we deal with stress and how we simply can't multitask like we used to. We feel brain fogged midway through a task.

Vandghie [00:05:14]:
We would go, what the heck am I busy with? I can't even remember where I was going to go with this task. Or you walk into a bedroom and you simply don't know why you're there. You know, so we start forgetting these things that we see that are shifts in the way we deal with stress. But then, on the other hand, we see these shifts with low sex hormones, low progesterone, low estrogen, low testosterone. And those are the things that cause the headaches, fatigue, brain fog, inability to sleep. Well, when we start to notice messy periods, we start to notice changes in our body shape, because testosterone is really low. So muscle mass goes down, fat starts to accumulate around the abdomen, we start to gain weight. And there's all of these things that happen hormonally, and no matter how you try externally to fix those things, they simply won't budget.

Lindsay [00:06:03]:
I feel like you just described my life. So tell us how, like, what was your journey to entrepreneurship and what led you to start studying this sort of route?

Vandghie [00:06:19]:
So I qualified as a dietitian way back, probably now, 15 years ago. I worked in pediatrics at the time, and I would work with all these really sick babies that was a niku and pizza Icu, and then these children would get out of the woods, out of the hospital, and then two to three years later, I would end up seeing the mums because they simply had these symptoms that I just explained. But back then, I was really young, first of all. And secondly, in medical school, we don't learn about perimenopause just so that everyone out there knows your doctor is probably only just starting to learn and have only recently heard the word perimenopause. They have no idea what it is, what to do with it, and also, they want to fix things with pharmaceuticals. That's what they are trained to do. That's the job. They don't know how to keep you healthy without.

Vandghie [00:07:15]:
So that was me back then. I got highly frustrated because I would give these beautifully calculated diets as a dietitian to these women, and they would come back six weeks later with zero improvement. Got me very frustrated, because I thought, these women are not simply not doing what they're supposed to do. I prefer working in ICU, where I can write a script the nurses implement, and I see the change. Then we immigrated to New Zealand, and for that same reason, I decided I'm not going to go into dietetics again. So I ended up in the pharmaceutical manufacturing industry and learned all of that side of things. But then, at the age of 32, I started suffering big time with my health. Lots of symptoms that doctors just couldn't even name.

Vandghie [00:08:02]:
They didn't know what it was. And it was a five year journey of going to my doctors back and forth two, three, four times a year, specialists included. It was skin stuff, lumpy breasts, inflammatory responses in my face with puffy eyes, itchy eyes, swollen lips, burny lips, eczema, acne, joint pain, fatigue, irritability, all of these things that my doctor simply couldn't put together. Heavy periods, which I got invasive surgery for. Now, looking back, I know when I look at the whole picture, I can see what was going on. So after five years of this journey, I realized I'm back and forth to my doctor. I'm getting the same result over and over again and the same advice, same doctor. So I was not doctor hopping at all.

Vandghie [00:08:54]:
And then I started doing the research myself, which is when I found cortisol and these changes that are happening hormonally. At the time, it wasn't called pyramidopause, there was no name for it at all. So I remember just talking about hormonal imbalance, and that is really what it is. But now we know at least that's a reproductive phase, major reproductive phase that we go through. So as I discovered these things, I went back to the research. It was a long process of digging through research and trying to understand what was going on, implementing these things. And I was doing Crossfit for ten years at that time. So I was doing all the right things, apparently, you know, CrossFit four to six times a week.

Vandghie [00:09:35]:
I was a dietitian, I knew exactly what to eat, all the things. And then I realized this is what was making me sick. I was doing CrossFit more and more to lose the weight gain. Seven kgs over about five years. That's about 18 pounds that I gained. And I was just trying to lose that. And I was making myself more sick by doing that. Then I implemented all of these things that I discovered, and seven weeks later, every single one of my symptoms had disappeared.

Vandghie [00:10:04]:
And so women around me looked at me and said, what have you done? I can see that your skin improved, you lost all this weight, all these things. And then I discovered it wasn't a me problem, it was a problem for everyone around me, but no one was talking about it. So that's when I quit my job and I went in, boots and all, into researching women's health and helping women through perimenopause. That's the long story.

Lindsay [00:10:30]:
I love it. I love when people have stories. So you said you emigrated to New Zealand. Where were you before? Where are you from?

Vandghie [00:10:38]:
Yeah, so I am from South Africa. That's where I qualified as well. Yeah. So we've been in New Zealand now for ten years.

Lindsay [00:10:44]:
Okay, so why do you think nobody talks about this?

Vandghie [00:10:52]:
Well, first of all, there's a big gap in the research. Between the 1970s and nineties, for about 20 years, women were excluded from medical research because there was a drug trial that was done and a lot of damage was done for unborn fetuses. So the FDA and the who just recommended that women don't be included in research. So for 20 years, research was done on male physiology. And we know there are two major differences. First of all, they don't have menstrual cycles. And secondly, they don't have major reproductive phases that they go through. So you will notice if your husband does the limiting of calories and starts exercising more, he loses weight.

Vandghie [00:11:36]:
Because that was tested on his physiology. It was not tested on yours. So that is a big reason why, because it's not flowed through, into the medical practice yet. Because we know it takes 20 to 30 to 40, 40 years sometimes from when we make a medical discovery to it actually flowing through, into medical practice. And then you've got these doctors that are. That have been in practice for 40 years that refuses to change their ways. So that's one of the things. And the second thing is, because of that, research is only just starting to look at what are these major reproductive phases that women go through and how do we need to deal with that.

Vandghie [00:12:14]:
And when we look at perimenopause, doctors like to see it as a diagnosis. That's what they do. They identify symptoms and they diagnose, and they treat pharmaceutically. As an integrative health practitioner, which is what I am. Not all dietitians are that, by the way. It's a way of practice that I've chosen to go down that route because it works for people. As an integrative health practitioner, we don't see perimenopause as a diagnosis. It is a major reproductive phase that we go through.

Vandghie [00:12:45]:
We will all go through it, but we just need to understand what are the changes that are happening and then supporting those key body systems like our liver and the adrenal glands and the gut health and the thyroid health. Those are the things that we need to be supporting the nervous system, which is what we as business owners are so bad at. We do not regulate that nervous system.

Lindsay [00:13:05]:
No. And I was just talking about this with someone else. Right? Like, it's. Even though I work from home, right. It's like I get up at 06:00 because I got to get the kids breakfast and I got to get them to the bus stop, and then I take the dog for a wal k, I can't say it because she'll hear me. And then at, like, 830, and I'm like, okay, got to get to my desk. And most days, right, like, I don't even, I'm, like, still in my pajamas, I haven't brushed my teeth. I'm, like, not even, like, presentable.

Lindsay [00:13:42]:
Today I made, I made an effort because I always feel better when I, like, actually wash my hair and, like, put a bra on, because otherwise, I just feel like, I, like, I just feel like a schlep anyways. But, like, even though I have the space to just, like, after the kids get to the bus, after the dog, I I have the space to just, like, take a minute and decompress somehow. I'm just like, gotta get to my desk. Gotta get my work done. What is that about? And I feel like we've, the whole reason we've become entrepreneurs is, well, one, you have children, and childcare costs a bazillion dollars. And two, we want the flexibility. So why aren't we taking advantage of the, why aren't we taking advantage of the flexibility?

Vandghie [00:14:29]:
Well, I think we are when you, it's not every woman that decides to be an entrepreneur. So it's a very specific kind of person. So we are usually high achievers. We are very driven. We seek very high goals. You know, when I started my business, I was going to be a millionaire in two years.

Lindsay [00:14:46]:
Oh, me too. Same. How's that going?

Vandghie [00:14:50]:
Look at the big names. And they say, well, I've had my first million dollar launch three years in, and I was like, okay, if they can do it, I can do it. But we don't realize that we are solopreneurs. You know, I always say, I'm the COO, CFO, the cho, the administrator, the VA, the. I am everything. I'm the content creator, Lindsay. And that's why you're in my world.

Lindsay [00:15:15]:
Amazing. Love it.

Vandghie [00:15:17]:
It's not the part of my job that I enjoy, but we are everything. And so we set these really high goals and we chase them. We chase them really hard. And I always talk to my own business strategist about how she sets her deadlines. You know, they're ridiculous. I do exactly the same. Like, I'm going to launch this brand new program in one week flat, and then we put the date out there to hold ourselves accountable, quote unquote. And then we need to chase those deadlines, and we don't even consider where we are physically.

Vandghie [00:15:52]:
So I think that's a big thing for us as entrepreneurs. But also there's a message out there, and it comes back to my first point is that, you know, we see all this messaging out there, which, by the way, is just advertising and marketing.

Lindsay [00:16:05]:
Yes.

Vandghie [00:16:06]:
And we all think if those people can implement that framework and make so much money, I can do it. I just need to work harder. That's what I need to put more time in, work harder, and then we burn ourselves out, and then there's nothing left of us to actually pour into our business and we end up not enjoying it anymore. It doesn't bring us joy. The reasons why we started it doesn't fuel us anymore. So for me, you know, I started my business because I have an absolute passion to educate women on this thing because I can see no one else is doing it. So that's the first thing. But the main thing is that I want to be with my kids.

Vandghie [00:16:43]:
I homeschool them. I love the time that we have together. But I also notice, like, at the moment I'm creating a new program. I noticed that my temper is a bit shorter with them. I don't enjoy going through the schoolwork with them as I usually do because I'm spreading myself super thin. And so what I teach women is how do we have health? So how do we have business strategy? With health strategy, like two pedals on a bike, we simply can't only have business strategy because it's not going to go very far. But when we implement them together and we incorporate health strategy into business strategy, we can always be at our best performance. So I'm thinking, for example, at the moment, if we understand how our menstrual cycles work and we need to do content creation, which is what you teach, we will know that the least creative time of our menstrual cycle is when we are premestral.

Vandghie [00:17:41]:
Don't force it. Don't force it in your premestrial. But when you're in your ovulatory phase, bulk create content so that when you're, you know, when you're in your previous, you don't even have to worry about that.

Lindsay [00:17:55]:
Yeah. Which is, you know, which is, again, something that nobody really talks about. Like, and I think, I mean, I've said this before, I feel like, dude, entrepreneurs, they're all going to be fine. However, women like, we're special because, one, I feel like we thrive in communities where, like, I attract like minded people like you who love to chit chat. I agree we're super ambitious, but, and like, we bring something special, and because of our cycle, right. Instead of, like, you know, looking at it as a pain in the butt, it's also sort of, you know, we have times during the month where we're so much more creative and other times where you don't even know what your own name is.

Vandghie [00:18:58]:
Yeah, that's right. And we don't understand our own physiology, so we work against it all the time. Yes. We launch a brand new program at the time of our cycle where we supposed to just be resting, you know? And I'm not saying take your premier phase out and be on the couch all day watching movies. That's not what I'm saying. But that's a good time to be strategic around planning your calendar and maybe even recruitment, that kind of stuff. But creativity is. It does not come in that phase.

Vandghie [00:19:30]:
So when we understand our bodies and we know it's coming, it doesn't surprise us. That's a big deal. Like, women go, I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't get this done. Yesterday, I did this job in ten minutes flat. Now I'm an hour down the line, and I have got nothing on paper, you know, but when we understand what's actually happening, we'll work with those phases. And that's what I teach women. And it's life changing, Lindsay.

Vandghie [00:19:51]:
It can change the way you run your business, the joy you get from your business, the joy your family feels from you when you are not in your business. You know, those things are really, really important. And I think you say women are different to men. And I am not a feminist by any way, shape or form. Not at all. I adore my husband. I love that he takes the leadership role in our home. I got a podcast review the other day, someone saying that I'm quite old fashioned.

Vandghie [00:20:21]:
Yes, I am. I have a biblical worldview. I think we have been created differently for this reason. So if we want to take on the role of. Of a man in the workplace, it's got to be hard, because we were not created to do it that way. And men give us really sound business advice. They can, because there are some male entrepreneurs out there that do an amazing job, and they can give us really good advice, but they will never understand. They will never understand how we feel physically different from day to day because they're always the same.

Vandghie [00:20:55]:
They don't have these fluctuations. So, yes, take your business advice from a guy, but certainly do not schedule your business activities the same way as they do, because it's not going to have the same effect for you.

Lindsay [00:21:08]:
Yes. Yes, agreed. Yes. We are created differently. Yes, agreed. And I want to circle back to this idea of burnout, because I think we're led to believe, like, burnout is just like, you know, you're gonna. Like, you're gonna know when it happens. Like, you're completely useless.

Lindsay [00:21:27]:
You're flat on the ground. And I've since learned that it's so. It's very subtle, and you don't even realize that you're burnt out until, you know, a week later. And you're like, wait a minute. This is what's happening.

Vandghie [00:21:42]:
And.

Lindsay [00:21:43]:
Right, like, if you look at, like, you know, celebrities or whatever, like, oh, so and so was hospitalized for exhaustion. Right. Like, we think that's what it is. But I think the burnout is so much more subtle. So can you talk about that a little bit?

Vandghie [00:21:59]:
Yeah, I love talking about that, Lindsay, because I think there's a whole lot more awareness that needs to be created around this. I think burnout is starting to be a thing at the moment. You know, we hear it everywhere. We see these big entrepreneurs being hospitalized or going into institutions for burnout, but we don't have. I think we need to have sort of a classification system, like a table that sees you're at level one, two, three, you're burnt out. Burnout means you simply can't carry on. You're being hostilized. You probably need some sort of therapy.

Vandghie [00:22:34]:
But there is this whole journey before we get there. It's like, if you can imagine a car doing a burnout before the tires completely come off that vehicle, there's this whole process of burning those tires, and this is what we go through. And, you know, I actually don't like the word burnout because, you know, it's like you say, we think it's people that end up in hospital. So, for us, it's that process of feeling the fatigue, brain fog, the inability to sleep. Isn't. Our bodies are so interesting. The least we sleep, the least it does sleep, because with that cortisols turned on, it's constantly going, you're in trouble, you're in trouble. You can't go to sleep.

Vandghie [00:23:15]:
There's danger. There's danger that worsens the whole program. We're irritable. We are not productive. We find no joy. We yell at our kids. Nothing brings us away. That, my friend, is a very clear red flag that you are on your way to burnout.

Vandghie [00:23:34]:
We don't want to end up in burnout, Lindsey, because when we do that's when we have a very high risk of developing chronic disease. When we burn ourselves out, that's when we get things like fibromyalgia and inflammatory bowel disease, which is an autoimmune disorder, autoimmune disorders of the thyroid. We don't want to end up in burnout because we are increasing our risk of these things. But before we get there, there's all of these signs and symptoms that your body will give you that will let you know that you are heading there, and you need to make intentional decisions to not end up there. And I always say, when we think about self care, we always think it's selfish, it's leisurely. But self care, actually, number one, needs to be very intentional. But secondly, will cost you something. It's not an easy thing.

Vandghie [00:24:23]:
It takes self discipline to implement self care. It's not leisurely. So it's a discipline that we need to schedule into our business calendars because we want to prevent that burnout. So when you notice some shifts in your period, they become really heavy or very irregular or painful, or you experience spotting leading up to your period. Those are all signs that your body is giving you that the adrenal glands are not coping. The fatigue, the brain fog. You know, like you said, you forget things, that those are all signs even. You know, yesterday I was working on a piece of content, and I felt the pressure of getting it out urgently.

Vandghie [00:25:07]:
And I realized at some stage that my. My shoulders were tensed and I was typing really fast and I was breathing really fast. And then I had to take a second and go, okay, hang on. Why am I putting this pressure on myself? Because this needs to be out at some stage today where at 02:00 p.m. I have the world's time to get this out. Being intentional about letting my nervous system. Now you're not in trouble. It's all good.

Vandghie [00:25:31]:
Implement this little strategy here to regulate that nervous system and come back to the work so that we can be more creative. Because we under that pressure, we make mistakes as well. So we steal our own products activity by not noticing the messages that our body is giving us, that we are heading to burnout. Does that answer your question? Does it make sense? Yes.

Lindsay [00:25:50]:
Yes. Very much. Very much, yes. Yeah. And I agree with all of those things that you said, right? Like, it's. It's. It's not like one defining moment. It's like a whole process.

Lindsay [00:26:02]:
Yeah. And what you said about, like, creating that content in your shoulders like this. How many times a day that I notice. Right. And I used to teach yoga, so you think I'd be aware of some of these things, but how many times a day that I'm like, right. You know, like I'm sitting on a heating pad, it's on my back, because this is the stage of life I'm in. But I was gonna say I had something really smart to say. I totally forget.

Vandghie [00:26:32]:
Can I jump in here? While you think of. Smart? Smart comment is that that comes down to body awareness. We have no body awareness. We've never been trained to understand. So even, you know, something like periods that become a bit messy is very obvious. Sometimes we just ignore it, but those signs are very obvious. But then there are those subtle things about our body that we are simply not aware of, like that tension or breathing fast. So, for me, when my cortisol goes high, my lips get really dry, I get shortness of breath.

Vandghie [00:27:06]:
I feel that brain fog. But these physical things that my body is doing, I constantly need my lip balm, and I have shortness of breath. My eyes go puffy and itchy. Then I know it's because I've been intentional over the last, say, about four years to develop that self awareness and being curious about my body and not hating it, thinking, why is it turning against me? It's so unpredictable. But instead going, this is interesting. Let me think about the last week or the last month. What has been going on in my life, what could be causing this for my body to give me these messages and be curious about it and learn more about ourselves?

Lindsay [00:27:47]:
And I think, I love this idea of curiosity. Right? And I think if we apply that to everything, like, you know, our kids, our business, our relationships, our everything, and just be like, what. What message is this trying to send me? Or what could I learn from this, you know, interaction or whatever it is. So do you find that most people. Well, I guess the people you work with is a bit different, but I would guess that most people are missing that curiosity piece or missing sort of the messages that their body is sending them. Do you find that? Or is?

Vandghie [00:28:29]:
And I think it is because we feel highly frustrated. We deal with these symptoms, and we've been conditioned to think that symptoms need to be spot treated. So if there's one symptom, we need medication to take it away. So we've never been trained to be curious about this process because our doctors don't practice in that way. We go to them, we give them all these symptoms. They either gaslight us or they diagnose us with cancer, you know, or big things or they just go, well, maybe we need to do more testing. Then you do testing, tests come back and everything appears to be normal. So we are frustrated.

Vandghie [00:29:06]:
And when you're in a place of frustration, it's really difficult to be curious to learn. So it took me five years of frustration to go, hang on, hang on. I need to stop and stop working. Walking around the same mountain. I'm not going to get a different result by doing this. I need to find the solution for myself. Now, lucky for me, I was trained in a medical sort of career, so I knew how to go back to the research. I know where to find the trustworthy research and I know how to interpret that.

Vandghie [00:29:38]:
That was good. Like, I was able to do those things. Most other women don't even know where to start. We go to Google and we read all these things and it gives us conflicting information. So what do we do with that? And that's why I think we are more frustrated than curious.

Lindsay [00:29:54]:
Yes, that's a good point. Yeah, the frustration. And so what's this like? So what is there like tactical advice that we can do for entrepreneurs so we avoid all of this? Like, if so, we can avoid burning out so we can take care. Like you were saying, self care is, is, you know, it's not really that glamorous. Like, yeah, you can go get your nails done. Sure, you can have a bubble bath. Awesome. But I feel like, you know, this term self care has, it's, you know, it's sort of like morphed.

Lindsay [00:30:34]:
Yes, right. Like it's one of those words that you say all the time and it doesn't really mean anything anymore. So what does it mean to, like, actually take care of yourself if you run a business and you don't want to, like, burn out?

Vandghie [00:30:49]:
Yeah, I think that's a good point. Because when you think about caring for your children, especially when they babies, it's not glamorous. It takes a whole lot of effort and time and selflessness to care for those little people. But it should be the same for us. It's not a glamorous thing. It's not a holiday or a week on the beach or actually, you know what? Working on the beach, like, we are being sold this idea that we can sit on an international beach somewhere and make millions. This is not self care and this is not how we run a business. That's very, it's fake news.

Vandghie [00:31:25]:
But when we think about self care, I, you know, it's simple things. And if I can give basic stuff today that women can take away and implement, first of all, is to not have coffee for breakfast. We all do it. We love that coffee first thing in the morning. But really what it is doing, it's triggering an insulin response and then a cortisol response, which is really, really hard to come back from. For the rest of the day. Your body, you've put your body in a flat spin and it's just unable to get itself back under control. So what we need to do first thing in the morning is have a breakfast that has some protein, some carbs and some fats.

Vandghie [00:32:06]:
A balanced breakfast. And this can be something simple as a smoothie. You just put half an avocado in there, you add your protein powder and some berries, and that's a good start. You're giving your body a strong start. So if there's anyone out there doing intermittent fasting for health reasons or for convenience, that is the first step. You need to get rid of that. It's not, it does not work for hormonal balance, it's not for your female physiology. There's a research on it, but it's for a very different, I want to say audience, but it's for different things.

Vandghie [00:32:41]:
So that's the first thing. Have a breakfast, then have your coffee with your breakfast if you want, but don't have coffee for breakfast. And then secondly, fuel your body. Like you said, you just had to make time for that lunch. Schedule it in. Put 30 minutes into your calendar to fuel yourself. And that is the biggest thing. And funny enough, the hardest thing for women to implement is to actually feel themselves.

Vandghie [00:33:07]:
So have that breakfast, make time for lunch and have a little snack bowl on your desk with dried fruit and nuts that you can snack on. It's like having your water bottle there. If it's there, you remember and you'll drink it, but if it's not, you forget. So having a little snack bowl there with, you know, I love having some raw treats that I make with almond flour or dates or whatever. I love sweet stuff. So make sure you have something available that you can just quickly grab on the go.

Lindsay [00:33:35]:
Um, I love all those things. And I always have a nut bowl on my desk and I'm always like, I'll put, like, almonds and cashews and stuff. And I also have to put, like, chocolate in it. Yeah, like m and M's or something. And then my kids will come and like, pick all the chocolate out. I'm like, you can't take a piece of chocolate if you're not going to take a nut. You have to take one. You have to have a handful.

Lindsay [00:33:59]:
I love all those things. And I think you're right as women and as mums, like, and I've had this conversation with another dietitian, like a nutritionist and stuff, and this idea that we're always in a rush, right? Like, you know, you're shoving your meal in your mouth because you always feel like someone needs you or you have to get back to your desk or you have another task. And I feel like, and I was thinking about this recently. You and I have Jan in common. I was doing some of Jan's homework, and I was realizing that a lot of the stuff that I do for clients is I don't want to disappoint anybody. So there's like a boundary thing there. But I feel like, especially as moms, we're so used to doing everything so fast, right? Like, even having a shower, I'm like, five minutes, because somebody's going to need you. Even though my kids are bigger now, they're not babies anymore.

Lindsay [00:35:01]:
Right. So. And I've talked about this with other women and other moms, and even though you have the time to eat slowly and chew your food, we're still so used to shoveling it in.

Vandghie [00:35:16]:
Yeah.

Lindsay [00:35:17]:
Can you speak to that?

Vandghie [00:35:18]:
Yeah. So we need to be intentional about that because we go through different life phases. And ten years ago, for instance, when I had a one and a three year old, that was the reality. It was not healthy, it was not a good thing, but that was reality. That's just how life was. And then they grow up and we still live in that reality. So I'm very intentional at home about everything. And it might sound like I've got everything together.

Vandghie [00:35:42]:
I don't. It's hard work for me as it is for everyone else, but I'm intentional about teaching my children independence. And I've done that from a very young age because, number one is good for them. They need to learn. They can depend on themselves to meet these basic needs. But secondly, it's creating space for me to do other things. So, you know, for the last three or four years, my kids know that I value a walk. So they're at the age now where I can leave them home.

Vandghie [00:36:11]:
But back then, they had to come on their bikes whether they liked it or not. Life is not all about them. And so when they grow up, they will thank you that you have set those boundaries in place for yourself, allowing yourself to be the servant. And look, I love serving my family honestly. It's one of the things. That brings me the biggest joy. And I think that's why we step into the strap of burning ourselves out, because we love doing that for our families. But we have to put boundaries in place for ourselves as well to go.

Vandghie [00:36:42]:
I have this much to give. If I don't put anything back in, nothing's going to flow back out to my family. So take them with on your walks. Teach them about healthy eating. Teach them about eating regularly. My daughter's a teenager now, and I have these conversations with her all the time. You cannot have a piece of bread for lunch. Where is your vegetables? Where is your protein? And teaching them to do the same.

Vandghie [00:37:08]:
So you're absolutely right. We go through life stages, and we forget to adjust as everyone grows older. And it just, again, means being intentional. And the other thing is, Lindsey, I think sometimes we do need someone with that purpose of to come in and say, hey, look, here are the things that you falling short on and someone to call you out on your thought patterns that are not truth because we feel guilty about things without even realizing. We don't know that we don't want to eat lunch because we feel too guilty because our kids have to be at school and we're at home. So we need to work every single minute that they're away from us. Whatever your thought patterns are, we need people to call us out on them because we are so unaware of it.

Lindsay [00:37:51]:
Yes, yes, yes. 100%. I agree with all those things, right? Like, my kids, the bus comes at 03:00 p.m.? Right? So usually, you know, my husband works shift work. Sometimes he's around, sometimes he's at work. But usually I'm just like, I can't get anything done after that. However, now that my kids are older, sometimes I'm like, okay, I need an hour. I just have to finish this thing. And the boundaries, oh, my God, the boundaries are huge.

Lindsay [00:38:24]:
And sometimes, right, I have to give myself a timeout. I'm just like, it's too much. Just give me ten minutes. Nobody talked to me. Just let me sit here in silence. And then, you know, then you're just better, mom. You're a better entrepreneur. You're better.

Lindsay [00:38:46]:
Everything, the space. I think we forget to give ourselves the space. And, yes, agreed. When my kids are at school, it's just like, mad dash to get everything done.

Vandghie [00:38:58]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. And then, you know, being okay with ourselves that we don't get stuck. Done. If you work for an employer when it's 04:00 p.m. And you leave that door. Tomorrow's another day. I didn't get to those things if there were deadlines on it. I'll just communicate it with the people that are working with me on this project, and tomorrow I'll look at it.

Vandghie [00:39:20]:
We're not the same with our businesses. I'm not quite sure why. I think we're always chasing this thing that's set before us that's nearly impossible. Instead of going actually bringing that expectation back here to a business owner that have just been in business for two years, what is realistic for me right now? It's just, you know, is it having my content out every week, having it rescheduled, making sure that I'm building my audience, providing my audience with value? But we have these money expectations. But then I think it's important to have someone break that down for us to go. Actually, that's not realistic for where you are right now. What we need to be focusing on are these foundational things, because we are working towards that money expectation, but that's not going to happen in the next month or two.

Lindsay [00:40:10]:
Yeah.

Vandghie [00:40:10]:
And being okay with that process. Right.

Lindsay [00:40:13]:
And. Yeah, and I agree. I think it is kind of like, you know, you see these memes on wherever, and it's like, what your best is today is not necessarily what your best is tomorrow. And like we said, it comes down to a lot of different things. And sometimes I think this new version, and I've said this before, you know, a regulated nervous system is maybe that's a version of success that we've completely forgotten about. Right.

Vandghie [00:40:42]:
So in my program, one of the free bootcamps that I run, I help women redefine their personal success. What is your success? Because for me, personally, success. Yeah. I want to have financial success in my business, but the whole picture is that I am a regulated person, that I. That my faith is really important to me. It takes high priority, and I spend time on it every day in the Bible reading. I have a fulfilling marriage. I have children that are happy.

Vandghie [00:41:11]:
Trust me, we have a friendship. We do school together, we have fun together, we laugh together. And then I have this successful business that is a whole picture of success for me. But when we look at the picture of success out there, it's earning a million dollars in a year, and then no one talks about the cost of it. Playing with your health and your relationships to get that business success. And for me, that is not success.

Lindsay [00:41:38]:
Yes. And I 100% agree with you. And I think, you know, we. And I agree with you. We are sort of fed this idea of like, oh, online business, no problem. Make this digital project product, and, you know, the money's going to start rolling in. It doesn't look like that. It is not glamorous.

Lindsay [00:41:59]:
And I think when you really figure out what your values are, like, you just listed, then it becomes so much more expansive, and you're like, wait a minute, I don't need a million dollars, right? And then, I don't know. And then you kind of look around and you're like, wait a minute, I have everything I need. I have stretchy pants. I've got, you know, like, sometimes when you look around, you're like. And, you know, and your version of success changes, I think, over. Yeah, over the years. Right?

Vandghie [00:42:31]:
Yeah.

Lindsay [00:42:32]:
But, yes, I agree. We have been sort of fed this idea that it's super easy and it's not. No, it's not glamorous. And I love that you sort of, you know, you give this idea of like, and how are we going to be, how are we going to make any money if we're sick all the time?

Vandghie [00:42:53]:
All the time. That's right. That's right. And I was sick two weeks ago, and what I realized was, if I can't rely on my body, then I don't have a business. I was in bed for two days. It was stressful because I had this deadline coming up and I simply couldn't do anything. My body was forcing me to take time out because I have been ignoring it for a bit. You know, it's like I said, I get it wrong as well.

Vandghie [00:43:15]:
But also, things happen in our lives that we have no control over. And so sometimes our body is going to go, I've had enough for now. I need to be in bed for two days to recover from what you've put me through, and then I'll be back to help you accomplish what you need to accomplish, you know, so if we don't care for ourselves, our bodies are not going to be reliable, and that's a very, very scary place to be in.

Lindsay [00:43:40]:
Yes, agreed. Thank you so much, Anji. It's always lovely to chat with you. Where can people find you and what are you working on?

Vandghie [00:43:48]:
So I have got a podcast. It's called the Perimenopause podcast. So they can head over to wherever they listen to the podcast to find that. But I've also got a program that I run with women in business to help them do just that. How do we schedule our health into our business strategy to make sure that we stay on top of ourselves, first of all. And have fun doing all these things. Not feel burned out all the time, but find joy in our business and our families and all the things by balancing our hormones and understanding our bodies. So I also offer free calls, discovery calls, to see whether this is a good approach for you if we're a good fit.

Vandghie [00:44:29]:
And so I will also be providing the link where people can just book a free call with me, even if they just want to have a chat around this and share their frustrations of because many women have frustrating health journeys for years and then suddenly go, oh, I think this is what's going on with me. I'm in perimenopause. So even if they just want to have a conversation about that, I would love to hear from them.

Lindsay [00:44:49]:
Amazing. Okay, we'll share all of that stuff in the show notes. Until next time, everyone. We'll see you soon.

Lindsay [00:44:56]:
Thank you so much for listening. If you loved what you heard, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, or share this episode on social media. And don't forget to tag me on Instagram at lindsaysmithcreative. And if you do all three, I'll be your best friend forever and invite you to all my birthday parties. That's it for today, and I'll see you next time.